Let It go … by T.D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to […]
Radical Acceptance of our Parts
A Short Introduction to Parts Work Have you Ever connected with your inner world using IFS? The idea of IFS is the willingness to accept and heal our inner parts. These are subpersonalities that develop strategies to protect us from overwhelming emotions. Identifying and understanding these protective parts is a crucial component of the IFS […]
Asking for Help
One of the hardest things for me to do is to ask for help. My mother was a strong, independent woman who prided herself in never asking for assistance. “Tough as nails,” is how people described her. In the end she had no choice but to ask for assistance as she sunk deeper and deeper […]
Exploring Transgenerational Coaching
It all started with the break up of my 25 years of marriage. “If you want to see a therapist, see one. I’m not unhappy and I hate therapists,” was his answer when I pointed out how messed up our marriage had become. We weren’t communicating, argued in front of our children almost daily, slept […]
BEAUTY and CHAOS
It’s been a long time since I last visited Johannesburg. Being transported from the quiet of Pringle Bay to the chaos of this mega city, has forced me to look at the beauty instead of the chaos I see all around me. When I step outside the confines of this gated estate I notice birds […]
INTERRUPTED REACHING OUT MOVEMENTS
In family constellations we often refer to an interrupted reaching out movement (IROM). When a baby is born, the parents may not be emotionally or physically able to connect with their new born. The flow of love is interrupted and as a result a complex dynamic unfolds at this critical phase of an infant’s development. […]
What is the one question you should ask in a new relationship?
I can’t say I’m an expert on relationships, despite my 66 years on this planet with 1 failed marriage, break-ups (there have been a few), and how to sustain a long-term loving relationship. What I deeply question, though, is all the ‘right credentials’ we seek in an ‘ideal’ partner. I used to be there once […]
Time or Money?
What Are You Willing To Trade Your Life for? It’s hard to be held accountable for our time. It’s easily consumed, squandered, and lost. Yet, it receives far less attention than the attention we put on money—few of us carefully budget how we’ll spend our next small windfall of time. We worry about wasting money […]
Touching Sadness
When the pain of the world feels unbearable, and you’re on the edge of breaking down, it is then you touch your vulnerability. That raw, tender, soft spot of your sadness is the seed of our collective compassion — and of our hearts open. Stay open though it hurts like mad. This vulnerability is what […]
OVERCOME ANYTHING
Our earthly existence is filled with both hardship and joy. When adversity comes to visit it can erode our optimism, convincing us that the issues we face cannot be overcome. In truth, there is no situation so dire, no challenge so great, and no choice so bewildering that it cannot be overcome. We persuade ourselves […]