Know Your Roots

It turns out your life’s story didn’t begin with you – it began generations ago. The triumphs and struggles of your ancestors have shaped the person you are today.

Their triumphs are your triumphs.

Their traumas are your traumas.

The problem is many people carry the burden of ancestral trauma without even realizing it. And these deep-rooted wounds can influence your choices, fears, and life paths—keeping you stuck in patterns you might not understand.

Here’s the good news. You have the power to change all of this.

After experiencing the amazing journey of my ancestry, and helping others do the same, I have found how freeing it is to release old patterns carried down through my lineage, as well as embracing the strength and gifts handed to me.

Family constellations’ is a trans-generational healing modality which explores the deep, unconscious dynamics within a family system. In many instances, this work, explores dysfunctional patterns that continue to have an impact on our lives.

The premise of constellations is that we all have an equal and rightful place to belong in our families. Somewhere down our ancestral past there might have been miscarriages, abortions or a secret where a child was not acknowledged. When this happens there is a distortion in the ancestral line and sometimes we might inadvertently be carrying the trauma of these people.

There are also instances of systemic entanglements where we take on an ancestor’s fate through a subconscious loyalty to the family system. Sometimes there might have been an early death of a family member which has a strong effect on the whole system.

In a group setting participants come together and create a ‘morphogenic field’ or a ‘knowing field’. It was Rupert Sheldrake who first adopted the idea that there is an energetic process that connects us. Have you ever heard of the ‘hundred monkey effect?’ This effect claims that a new behaviour or idea is spread rapidly by unexplained means from one group to all related groups once a critical number of members of one group exhibit the new behaviour or acknowledge the new idea. These behaviours were said to propagate even to groups that were physically separated and have no apparent means of communicating with each other.

This ‘knowing field’ forms the basis of family constellations because it connects us to our ancestors. In a group setting representatives are called into this field and asked to stand in for the querant’s family. The representative has an energetic response when they step into the work area.

As facilitators we are trained to look out for any movement in the ‘morphogenic field’ and move towards creating resolution and healing for the person who has asked to be constellated.

To give you a taste of what you can encounter in a constellation, imagine you have been chosen to be the representative for the father of a seeker. The only information you have about the strangers chosen as the other representatives is that they are stand-ins for the mother (the wife of the man you are standing in for), the older daughter and the younger son. You have no special feelings for these people, any likes or dislikes, and the seeker has not mentioned anything about character traits of these family members. One by one the seeker guides the representatives to a certain spot and more perceptions are aroused within you with the subsequent placement of each representative involved in the constellation.

You start feeling something that was not there before. You have been placed opposite your wife. Your daughter has been placed much too close and your son is difficult to perceive. You feel a lot of anger and tension towards your wife, and your daughter is placed so close that it scares you. Your son is placed too far away according to your feelings. The facilitator brings another representative into the constellation. 

The facilitator brings another representative into the constellation: the second daughter that died as a baby from sudden infant cot-death syndrome (SIDS). Without knowing what overcomes you, tears run down your cheeks and you feel a deep pain. Suddenly you know where the anger towards your wife comes from; you realize that you have made her responsible for the death of the child.

Through the facilitator’s enquiry you start to understand that the feeling of powerlessness for you as the father was too much to bear. It was much easier to find someone else to blame rather than face this powerlessness and pain. It was easier to blame your wife. All the information and feelings effortlessly arise within you.

The facilitator continues to work with the constellation and presents you with certain clarifying and healing statements. For example: “You are my wife. I am your husband. I feel a deep regret over my attitude towards you.” Slowly, all the entanglements become clear to you.

Each time something is resolved you become more relaxed. After awhile the facilitator gives you a new place in the constellation next to your wife. Now you feel a profound love towards her. Your children are placed opposite you and even the second daughter who died early has been given her place. You feel fatherly concern and love. You are proud of your family. At the end, the client steps into the constellation and replaces the representative and repeats the last steps to end the constellation.