Family members can be the greatest blessing, give the warmest hugs and create the strongest bonds… yet they can cause the greatest amount of pain and stress.
Social media and the advertising industry sell us this idea of unity, love and harmony. We have an image of a happy family sitting down together for dinner, laughter ringing through the air. For many, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Old hurts and unspoken resentment bubble to the surface, causing pain and anguish.
There is a way to identify these patterns and find a way to resolve them. This is where family constellations can help you understand what’s happening at a deeper level.
Family constellations help us map out unspoken dynamics and can help reveal the “hidden elements” that may directly or indirectly be the cause of family dramas. Sometimes there’s a body memory or a missing piece of a puzzle that hasn’t been identified. By simply identifying it, we have a real chance to shift and even resolve an entangled situation.
In a Family Constellation ou learn to have compassion for their plight and realise these burdens are not yours to carry.
One of the main advantages of constellation work is a chance to work with family members without them being present. We can make personal shifts that can have a positive ripple effect on those around us. We work on our side of the relationships with parents, grandparents, children, extended family and even the deceased and past generations. We take back our power.
Orders of Love
Every member of the family has a place and a right to live within the order in which they were born or the order that feels healthy. This idea is referred to as the “Orders of Love”. Often, when one is born into a disordered family system, there are warped dynamics that can prevent healthy development. Role reversals between parent and child are a prime example of this.
A child who was never allowed to be a child, who was never nurtured properly, who became a child-sized-parent to sibling, will inevitably deal with “Orders of Love” issues later in life. When a sibling is put in the position to act outside of their birth order, it can also create challenges.
Acknowledging What Is
The very act of acknowledging the truth is in and of itself a catalyst for growth and has a ripple effect on your life. The truth allows us to understand and separate from the burdens that are not ours to carry, even if we do so out of love.
You know the saying “The truth will set you free”? Through systemic constellations it does. Whether in a group or one-on-one, family constellations can draw you closer to a place of understanding and acceptance of what is.