| One of the hardest things for me to do is to ask for help. My mother was a strong, independent woman who prided herself in never asking for assistance. “Tough as nails,” is how people described her. In the end she had no choice but to ask for assistance as she sunk deeper and deeper into dementia. I’ve learnt from the best. Or have I? I recently underwent a knee replacement and three weeks in I am feeling weak and finding it hard to get around. I have had no choice but to request assistance. Up until now I have taken pride in my sense of independence. I am the one who usually takes care of others – not the other way around. It’s been an important lesson for me to accept help. It’s forced me to look at my behaviour and change the narrative. My husband has been brilliant in taking care of me. When I am crying from pain he just holds me. My daughter reminds me that I am on the road to healing. It’s been important for me to fully accept the situation as it is. As with my first knee replacement, I know it will get better. By being vulnerable, a deep feeling of gratitude is emerging as I open to the experience of being helped. When I was in the hospital I went out of my way to thank the nurses and doctors for their assistance, especially the night staff. Showing gratitude and appreciation is an important lesson here. It has taken wisdom and strength to surrender to my helplessness and to accept that, just like every other human being, I have limitations. The gifts of surrender are numerous. I am discovering humility, gratitude, and a deepening understanding of the human experience that is enabling me to be that much more compassionate and surrendered in the world. |